.38 Special or .380 for self defense?

I bought a house I could afford, rather than the house I wanted. That meant affordable monthly payments, and a house in a high crime neighborhood in Los Angeles. I have put in burglar bars. And burglar doors. And a burglar alarm. And a fence. I now have a big German Shepherd dog. And an electric gate. And flood lights. And a Ruger .22 Caliber Automatic Pistol. But I go to the pistol range and everyone just rolls their eyes when I say that my .22 is my self defense weapon. Everyone tells me the .22 is simply too weak for self defense. I have made friends with a guy at the shooting range who is out of work. He is selling his guns and he needs money. He will sell me a Smith and Wesson Licensed Production PPK Stainless Steel in .380 with four clips, nylon holster, a case, and three boxes of fmj ammo for $400. Or he will sell me a Smith and Wesson Model 64 Stainless Steel Heavy Barrel .38 special with heavy barrel, double action only, with a bobbed hammer, a leather holster, with a case and four boxes ammo, 2 of 158 gr roundnose, and 2 of 110 gr +P Hollowpoint ammo for $400. But he wants the money NOW. I have the cash, but I don't want to be a fool and be taken. There is apparently a government fee too, because we have to go to a gunshop, and seal the deal there, with paperwork. Neither gun thrills me. Neither one seems like a good deal. I am a very small, slight man, not much over five foot tall, and not all that much over a hundred pounds. I would go with the PPK, but I can barely pull back the slide. The Model 64 .38 special is simple to use, but for a small man my size, it seems huge. Are either of these a good deal, or should I just say "No, thanks." . A lot of people have told me to get a Mossberg 12 guage shotgun, but that is out of the question. I fired one. Never again, thanks. And I fired it with birdshot. I was told it was twice as bad with buckshot. I can shoot both the .380 and the .38, and more or less hit the black part of the target at 7 yards, but both are at the upper limit of what I can handle in terms of size, complexity, and recoil.